THE MAN FROM WOLLERT: Manufacturing an Outbreak
PANDEMIC WRITINGS, Melbourne, Australia (2020-2022): piece originally published June 1, 2021
The ‘Man From Wollert’ is a stupendously illogical Sci-Fi fantasy for impressionable young minds that should know better.
That one ill-fated individual has managed to do more with the virus than was ever thought possible by all previous empirical observations. He purportedly returned from India and caught the extremely rare and possibly even fictitious ‘Indian double-mutant variant’ outside of India; assumedly during his 14-day quarantine spent in an Adelaide Quarantine Hotel — in which no one else was infected, or have since been; and then, upon returning to Victoria, he managed to spread it to the entire state… only because they cleaned and quarantined and tested the wrong Woolworths! You would almost think they were trying to pull the Woolworths over our eyes! What an unfortunate harbinger of societal chaos and governmental oppression; what a cursed man, and what a cursed story.
And it is just a story…
It is a peculiar thing that a list of the supposed public exposure sites in Melbourne, including all coronavirus hotspots, venues and outbreak locations if marked on a map — effectively covers EVERY major Victorian suburb, AND regional Victoria.
It is almost as if the mysterious virus had a strategy and was guided by the ethos: ‘We are all in this together.’